Cargill Travel Blog

Weather looks overcast. I have a little headache from the beer. Lisa is fretting about coffee cups. Buenos días, assholes and welcome to day 3. Nothing really happens today so prepare to be bored.

Breakfast room is BUSY. Not a clean table to sit at. This is not the Bon Sol way. While we wait for a table clean up, I go and use the orange juicer. I manage to send half an orange whizzing across the room 😬. “Ooh par-don!” I cry. I get a titter from a bloke nearby.

When I go back to the table it’s been cleaned. I head over to see my mate Antonio. Man’s stressing a bit. Says normally the Beach Bar serves breakfast too but now it’s just this place and so they have to cope with double the people. Out of the corner of my eye I see Stu taking a picture of us chatting, presumably for his blog. He’s still well-jel. Anyway I get my full inglés from mi amigo.

Today has no fixed agenda, so first – lounge by the pool. It’s a cooler day so we don’t go in. The only people in are an English family and it looks like they’re enjoying themselves. I listen to a podcast and have a little nap.

I need a plop (amazingly, the first since we arrived) so head back to room. Aargh, the bloody cleaners are in there. I know a place I can unload. A little bog near the pool changing area. It’s a clean scat space and infrequently used. Mission accomplished.

Lisa and I decide to walk to a local mini-market for snacks. It’s only a 5 min walk, and some stairs are involved. Inside the shop I do a little pop which smells like sewage. I thought that after a poo the badness had left my body but this was pure toxic smog. Lisa whiffs it straightaway, and I guess the nice shopkeeper man must have too. Sorry guy. We buy crisps, pretzels, chocolate, fizzy drink.

Back to hotel, and read Stu’s blog. So verbose but very funny. We go to pay gin rummy at the little green tables we found yesterday. Stu puts on some god-awful music, trying to recreate the funk from last night. He puts on Bobby Crush (WHY?) and an instrumental piano version of Keith Harris and Orville’s song comes on. It’s dreadful. Somehow it feels wrong to be in Majorca in a darkened room with no windows playing cards, so we agree to pay mini golf at 16:30 after a little rest.

16:30 and there’s a knocking at the door. It’s Stu in a robe. WTF dude, we’re golfing now? Turns out he’s been in the pool and can’t get back in his room. Anyway, Sue opens the door and they are back quickly for golf so nuff said. At the mini golf there are no balls; some Germans have asked the same and staff are fishing out the balls from the water features. We go for a walk instead.

We find the table tennis and have a quick game. Then go down to the sea and explore around there, watching the waves. It’s choppy today.

Back to rooms after walk. We go next door to drink the free cava, and chat shit. Quote of the day is by Lisa, about me at social functions – see below:

“When I need him most he’s Long Gone Silver”

Down to dinner and we have a table near the entrance. Live piano is playing. Our servers are the owner’s daughter, and a couple of other ladies. One looks like Edna from The Incredibles. There’s a language barrier at times, we think she’s asking if we want the bill but she is saying do you want beer.

There’s a guy that looks exactly like Larry David here. I have no pic but Stu might. Lisa says there’s also a Steven Spielberg but I don’t see him.

Starters: Waldorf salad, melon with ham, bread.

Mains: Lisa orders chicken in champagne. It comes and she freaks (natch) because there’s linguini on the plate. She don’t do pasta, unless it’s lasagne. She swaps with Sue, nice one Sue, and gets her chicken escalope. I have sea bass which is lovely. Stu has chicken.

Desserts: tiramisu, sorbet, and apple pie

Then a sit in foyer which is really comfy. We’re going to watch a singer in the bar, me and Lisa go to grab a seat. About 20 mins later Stu saunters in… Sue’s gone to bed. Singer is going to sing American Classics and had a big voice we’re told. She looks like Macy Gray. Starts with an Ed Sheeran song (Dancing in the Dark), not American. Lisa does this microphone to the side thing that annoys Lisa. We want to leave but lights are on, and there’s not many in. Larry David is here and he gets the fuck out early, the sly fox. We leave after about 7 songs. It’s not great.

Then play some pool, and bed. Sorry it’s a bit lame today, and not many pics either. It’ll have to do. Buenos noches.